Why We Don’t Realize We Need Healing (And How to Begin)

I owe much of this awareness to Teal Swan’s guidance and wisdom..

Teal Swan is a spiritual teacher and author whose work focuses on emotional healing, shadow work, and guiding people toward living in alignment with their authentic selves.

Understanding the Burden of Unseen Emotional Scars

So often, we move through life feeling a low hum of stress, dissatisfaction, or longing for “something more.” On the surface, it might look like a tough job, a difficult relationship, or simply the demands of daily life. But underneath, there are quiet wounds—old pains, unspoken hurts, and layers of conditioning—that shape how we see ourselves and the world.

For many, the word “trauma” feels too heavy. “I haven’t been through anything extreme,” we tell ourselves — and I used to as well. Until my early 20s, I couldn’t grasp what all the drama was about. So we had some stuff going on… some parents divorced, some single-parenting reality checks. No big deal, right?

Well, it is a big deal — if you’re heading for your Best Life Ever. It wasn’t a big deal as long as I was living in mediocrity.

So first thing is to acknowlege - trauma isn’t only about catastrophic events. It can also come from subtle, repeated experiences:

• Not feeling fully seen or heard as a child

• Growing up in a home where emotions weren’t safe to express

• Being criticized or shamed for being “too much” or “not enough”

• Feeling unsupported during vulnerable moments

Any of these feel familiar? :)

Over time, even these “small” wounds shape our nervous system, our beliefs, and our ability to trust ourselves and others.

We don’t recognize these patterns because they’ve been normalized. But they often show up later in life as:

• Overreacting to small triggers

• Difficulty setting boundaries

• A sense of disconnection from joy, purpose, or self-worth

Triggers Are Invitations

When we feel an emotional charge—anger, fear, withdrawal—it’s not a failure. It’s a signal. These intense reactions are like arrows pointing us toward places that need care.

The questions become;

• Can you hug the trigger closer inwards?
  

Even if you did react upon it; (and ‘fail’ to manage your ‘persona’)

• Can you grab the Gift of awareness behind it all?
  

They say the real you is the awareness that shines right after a non aware action/reaction, and i find it so true..

• Can we pause and listen to what’s really asking for our attention (aka - healing) ?
  

• Can we ask our inner selves - why did this touch you so deep / make you reach out of bounce, far from center, far from peace..

The Healing Journey

True healing isn’t about “fixing” ourselves. It’s about gently uncovering, witnessing, and integrating what has been hidden. It begins with:

1. Awareness

Notice your patterns. Where do you feel resistance? What makes you overreact? What stories do you carry about yourself?

2. Compassion

Meet these parts of yourself with kindness. Imagine speaking to a younger version of you who felt this pain—how would you hold them?

3. Support

Healing doesn’t have to be done alone. Therapies, spiritual practices, and community can offer mirrors and guidance.

4. Integration

As we heal, our responses change. Life feels lighter, relationships deepen, and we rediscover authentic joy.

⸻

You Are Already Whole

The truth is, healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before the wounds and returning home to yourself.

Every step you take—no matter how small—is sacred. Think that every step you do not allow - not only you turn your back on your own life, you do so as a part of a collective consciousness that asks for expansion and growth..

My final thoughts…

Life does not happen to us, it happens for us, if we can embrace this understanding, every challenge becomes a great chance for more authentic expression of pure energy, love, abundance, health and joy - and when this state is integrated into our daily ways of navigating through life - this is where we enjoy the fruits of healing..and there is no sweeter taste than this.

Life is fantastic!

I have been honored to walk through great challenges, heartbreaks, and sufferings—born from my own perception of reality and hidden coping mechanisms. And I have been blessed to love and be loved, to sense coherence, connection, grounding, and the vitality of spirit. It is through touching the full polarity of the human experience that profound questions arise—a seeking of truth, the cultivation of inner authority. No outer pursuit can ever satisfy the inner bird of freedom—unchained from all the shoulds and could haves—authentic in heart, open in mind… a northern star for humanity.