Social Anxiety and the Courage to Be Seen

“Free yourself and the rest will follow”

It often surprises people when I share that I’ve lived with social anxiety. To many, it seemed impossible that a young, beautiful, outgoing, popular, and highly communicative person could secretly carry such a weight. On the surface, I appeared social, radiant, and free. Yet inside, I was often struggling with an invisible storm.

And I know I’m not alone.

When I look around, I realize how many of us live with social anxiety as a basic undercurrent of our existence. I sometimes believe the real minority is not those who have anxiety, but those who are doing the inner work—mentally, emotionally, physically—to live authentically, instead of blindly following society’s “norms.”

What Social Anxiety Feels Like

Social anxiety is more than shyness. At its core, it is the constant fear that you are not good enough, that others won’t love you for who you really are. This fear holds you back from revealing your true self. And hiding your true essence might be one of the most harmful things you can do—because you never truly get to discover who you are.

The suffering is silent but exhausting:

• The discomfort of simply being in human connection.

• The energy loss from constant self-monitoring.

• The loneliness of hiding behind masks.

Yet human connection is the very reason we are here. We came to share this life with one another. To balance our individuality with our togetherness.

My Turning Point

For me, the unpacking began when I moved from central Tel Aviv—where mainstream culture thrived—to Jaffa, where artists, dreamers, and outsiders created their own way of living. Surrounded by people who allowed themselves to be who they were—dancers, photographers, singers, “freaks,” and free spirits—I started to feel permission to unravel myself too.

And over time, I noticed a pattern: the more authentic I became, the more the “right” people stayed around me. Those who appreciated my truth, however strange or unusual, remained. Those who wanted only the mask slowly faded away.

Lessons from Nature

The greatest teacher for me has been nature. Nature never criticizes a tree for growing crooked or a flower for blooming too early. It simply allows everything to exist as it is. Being in nature trained me to practice this muscle—allowing myself to sigh, dance, cry, laugh, and rest without judgment.

We do need some social norms to communicate and coexist. But morality and authenticity matter more than conformity. Too much perfectionism, too much pretending, is exactly where we start losing ourselves.

The Path to Healing

Authentic living doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, safe spaces, and supportive relationships. It requires asking the “why” behind our choices. Do I really want this? Or am I doing it because it’s expected?

And slowly, as we allow ourselves to be, we find the courage to trust that we are lovable as we are.

I’ve been lucky to have friends who truly see me—friends who listen without judgment, who accept my changes and shifts over the years, and who remind me that love doesn’t demand perfection. Not everyone has that privilege, and my compassion extends deeply to those who feel unseen or rejected for who they are.

Because at the heart of it all, the journey out of social anxiety is a journey toward love—the kind of love that begins with ourselves and extends outward to those who can truly meet.

A Wish for All of Us

I hold so much compassion for those who were born a little “too much” for the world—too tall, too strange, too loud, too quiet, too different on the surface. My own mother spent years learning to dim herself, to lower her head, to walk in ways that would make her shine less—simply because her presence always stood out. So for me it’s a generational thing I’m honored to be breaking.

From a young age, society tries to shrink us. Kids are cruel: “your legs are too strong,” “your ass is too big,” “your boobs are too much,” “your head is too high.” The labels stick, and slowly we start hiding the very things that make us unique.

But here’s what I wish for us all—especially the younger ones still forming their self-image:

✨ Feel free.

✨ Know you are already enough—more than enough—in your height, your body, your color, your shape, your voice, your preferences, your gifts.

✨ Shine them all, because that is the only way to truly contribute something good to the collective.

Let the Haters Hate

And as for the critics? Let them talk. Let them belittle. Let them waste their energy judging. You—pick your head up. Shine in your vastness, your colors, your wildness, your contradictions, your authenticity. Hide nothing.

Because this is the time of the mavericks. The time of the rebellious. Not rebellion for rebellion’s sake, not weirdness for weirdness’ sake—but the kind of rebellion that honors the truth of who you are.

That is the greatest gift you can give the world.